Last week I spoke about the first myth that keeps us stuck, “I don’t have enough time.” In case you missed it, you can check it out on the blog HERE. The interesting story about this myth is that it is so much more than time.
Often when we say “I don’t have enough time” we actually mean:
I don’t have enough support.
I don’t have enough clarity.
I don’t have enough money.
I don’t have enough knowledge.
I don’t have enough is a loaded statement that we hang many hats on to convince ourselves to stay stuck and it’s important to see it clearly to start taking our rightly earned power back from it.
This week I want to dive into another myth that I think is one of the toughest one’s to crack and sometimes admit...I’m not worth it.
The sense that whatever we want to shift, what’s on the other side of being unstuck, is something we are absolutely not worthy of.
Just like myth number 1, I’m absolutely familiar with myth #2 and it’s something I often re-meet and wish well each time I’m stepping into a new phase of life. Before I started my business I worked in a full-time tenured government job. An office. Cubical and all. People who meet me now are often surprised that I did that for nine years because I’m such a free bird at heart. Over time I developed a deep-seated feeling like I didn’t belong. This created a lot of anxiety in me because I had no idea where else to go or what else to do. I was absolutely petrified to leave, but underneath the surface-level fear from my lack of clarity was a deeper big fat lie I kept telling myself: I’m not worth a different life. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve the change. I realized this one day when I was on a call with my coach. She asked me about my big dreams since they were finally becoming clear. I knew my next career step was outside of government and serving others through independent services. Despite having my clarity, for some reason I wasn’t moving forward. This made absolutely no sense to me. And then she asked me, when was I going to give myself permission to live my dream life? I remember feeling a little dizzy after the question as if I was energetically trying to find the ground underneath me because somehow this question struck a chord deep inside.
The funny thing is that with the clarity of what I wanted to do, and the realization that I was the only person holding myself back, scary self-doubt kept stopping me from moving forward because “I’m not worthy” was the theme song in the background. One day while sitting in meditation it became clear that the difference between me and other people living their dreams was that they did it. It wasn’t because they were more worthy. It simply was because while I spent my time doubting, worrying, questioning, they were off doing, creating, and believing. If you are anything like me, it’s easy to fall into comparison patterns where you compare your career, relationship, path, fill in the blank with others. This is absolutely toxic, unless you do one thing. Flip comparison on its head to generate some momentum. See the success of others as a testament to why you can have your own success as well. See the wins as a shining example of what is possible when someone believes in themselves and then maybe...you feel inspired to do the same. You recognize that you too, are worthy of what you desire.
Who do you look up to that is living the changes you desire?
Writing the book you want to write? Starting the business you want to build? Do you think they wake up each day asking whether they are worth it? Probably not. And if they question it (which they might because so many of us practiced unworthiness for decades) I’m confident they take that myth and throw it away every time it shows back up.
My mind still likes to play the “I’m not worth it” game sometimes. It feels uncomfortably comfortable, but I’m dedicated to seeing it for what it is...a lie. A sweet little lie that’s trying to protect me from what it fears: failure. Well actually…success...change. I move through it anyways. Sometimes seeing it clearly is a slog and takes uncomfortable doses of feeling stuck to realize what’s going on, and other times I see it immediately and lovingly wish it well.
For this week’s Joy Tip Wednesday, I want to invite you to get familiar with all the ways you secretly lie to yourself and say “you aren’t worth it.” Here’s how:
Grab a notebook and pen. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down every situation you feel stuck or sticky energy around and acknowledge the way you are telling yourself you are not worthy. Be very specific about how this is happening. For example, the story I told myself about not being able to start teaching yoga and meditation is that I wasn’t worthy because I wasn’t “old enough.” I told myself that I wouldn’t be worthy to share what I’ve learned until I literally have grey hair and it was several decades later. I now believe that everyone has experience worthy of sharing for people at different phases of their life.
Identify one person that embodies what you want to do. They represent the change and shift you desire. Notice how they absolutely believe they are worthy and see them as inspiration to get you moving. Every time you find yourself feeling stuck, recall their face, their story, the change they created, and use their success as inspiration to remind you of why you are worthy.
Feeling inspired by this exploration of the myth “I’m not worth it” and hungry for more? I’m launching an online course soon to help you get unstuck and I’m looking for five special beta testers to be the first individuals to go through my course. You’ll get a special deep-discounted price, first dibs access to the material, and the opportunity to shape the course going forward from your thoughtful feedback. This will be a one-time opportunity and the spots will go fast. If you absolutely know that you are ready to get unstuck, e-mail me HERE to get notified when I open slots for beta testing.
In the meantime, take this virtual placard for your wall from me that says “You are worthy!” You are worthy of your desires, of your dreams, of your aspirations.