Do you believe in twin flames? Soul mates? Cosmic connections?
According to some New Age theories, a twin flame is someone who is the other half of your soul. While this person is not always a romantic connection, this idea often gets mixed with the idea of a soul mate. At the root of both is the idea that we can have cosmic connections with others, especially in love.
I definitely believe in cosmic connections, but I don’t always believe they are healthy.
Here’s why:
Big feelings do NOT = meaningful connection.
Big feelings = big karma
And big karma can lead to big drama
Why do you feel an immediate connection with someone? Are they a twin flame? A soul mate? I have a better question. Rather than focusing on whether a connection is cosmic ask yourself, does this connection nourish and support me? Do I feel safe and loved?
Too often sensitives get swept up in the spell of powerful feelings and miss their deepest relationship truths and needs.
I’ve seen the following scenario time and time again in my client practice. A sensitive meets someone they feel an immediate romantic connection with. It’s like this person just GETS THEM! The feelings are big, magnetic, powerful, maybe even passionate. As time moves forward, the sensitive tries to make a partnership work with this person because they are convinced there is a cosmic connection. They have to be soul mates right?! There’s just one problem. The person they are seeing can’t meet their core relationship needs to co-create a healthy, safe, loving, attachment. And they aren’t willing to put in the mutual work to change this.
When I see this happen for clients, it’s like they are caught in a spell. I call it a karma spell. Because what’s at work behind big feelings is big karma. This karma (past life and ancestral connections and wounds, along with unhealed present life-time wounding) convinces them that these big feelings mean they must be onto something profound. Instead, they are onto something familiar. As they get hooked by the big feelings, they make excuses for their own and their partner’s unhealthy behaviors, choices, and patterns. This painful dynamic often plays on repeat over and over again...until, the lesson they are meant to learn is learned.
In the latest podcast episode I explored this dynamic further and what to do about it. I explored:
What are twin flames and how are they different than soul mates?
Why big feelings do not necessarily mean a relationship is right for you.
How our past baggage can appear as a "twin flame" or "soul mate."
And a new way to start interpreting big feelings when they show up in relationships.