I want to open up in a new way today about what I’ve been learning about the power of receiving and why I need your support through my newly launched Patreon right now.
I was scared to write this post and I’ve been meaning to write it for more than two years (more on why below)! Because giving has always been easy for me and receiving has been hard.
Giving is how I ended up in a career in public service for nine years and how I followed the calling to become an intuitive coach and healer. Giving is what motivates me to incorporate scholarships into my online courses and to design offerings like the gathering I’m hosting on Thursday for an accessible $10 donation and for free for those who cannot afford the $10 at this time.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and quite a few traumatic bumps along the way, I developed a deep-seated belief that the only person I could truly depend on was myself. This wasn’t just a belief, it’s actually how I survived and served me well when I was younger. Being fiercely independent is how I was able to maintain a sense of grit and move forward when other people underestimated me. It’s how I was able to get to the other side of an abusive marriage and build a successful business. It’s how I was able to maintain my strength when I experienced Alzheimer-like symptoms when I was diagnosed with Lyme and didn’t know if I would make it out to the other side.
When I launched my own business six years ago I suddenly came face to face with an underlying energetic imbalance born from this independence. Despite doing work that I loved, I sometimes found myself falling out of love with my greatest love...my purpose. Why was I falling out of love with one of my deepest loves? Because…
If we want to give with an open heart, we need to open our heart to receive. And I was still struggling to receive.
Although I continued to create powerful work and give freely through my practical blog, inspiring social media posts, curated content, and masterclass lessons through my podcast, I wasn’t allowing myself to be nourished in return.
Beyond the fact that being fiercely independent felt more familiar, I was deeply afraid that you might judge me if I opened myself up and asked for financial support. Yes you! My lovely, supportive, loyal, sensitive soul following. My mind told me scary stories that you’d have a horrible story in your head about me if I asked for what I needed. In essence my past wounding had me convinced that I might be abandoned by the people that I love serving and love my service if I opened myself up.
This was quite the doozy to discover! Because in essence I needed to come face to face with a wounding that ran deep about my worthiness.
PS. giving and receiving always has a connection to worthiness.
So while more than two years ago I had the clarity that it was time for me to create a Patreon program for my community to give to my work and to co-create a powerful movement together, I still needed to do the internal work to clean up these sticky feelings and unresolved wounds to move forward.
I'm at an important threshold in my work.
My guides and intuition are asking me to step further into the leadership role I'm here to embody as part of my destiny. I have big dreams like writing best selling books, expanding the community of people I serve, leading a practitioner training for intuitive healers, focusing more on leading group experiences and online courses, and building a broader movement of sensitives embracing their intuitive nature.
Big dreams are never built alone. It takes a village. And I'm ready to call in my village.
Did you know in the past traditional land-based societies someone in my role (a medicine keeper, spiritual leader, healer, seer, witch, shaman, priest/priestess etc.) lived in symbiotic relationships with communities? The healer was seen as integral to the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health of the individuals, collective, and even the land of a community. In return for a healers service, the community ensured that their needs were cared for. This beautiful relationship ensured that the healer fulfills their sacred destiny and the community thrives.
It’s a beautiful model, but I was born into capitalism. That has meant that the last 10+ years has been me reflecting on how I can fulfill my sacred work, let service and giving lead, while supporting myself along the way. (Yes I thought about this for years before I stepped into this work full time 6 years ago. It’s why I almost became a Buddhist nun!).
In order to keep serving sustainably it's time to deepen my relationship with my community. And it's time to open up the doors to receive from each of you through Patreon so that I can keep giving in an even more powerful way.
What this means is that I will continue to create powerful free resources like my podcast, blog, guided meditations on Insight Timer, and regular wisdom on social media. I'm also embarking on an important new project...my first book! I will also keep creating paid programs like online workshops, courses, and a limited number of 1:1 clients. To make this work more sustainable as I keep creating free content, I'm asking for financial support in exchange from my community members who have the means to consistently give to my work.
If you believe in my work, and have benefited from it to date in any way, this is your opportunity to give back in thanks by joining my Patreon.
If you do not have the means financially to support my work at this time, you can support my work by spreading the word. Share my website, podcast, writings, and social media wisdom more widely on a consistent basis. When you see a post you like, please pause to comment and share. When you hear a podcast episode that you love, tag me on social media and take time to give it a review. In other words, I'm inviting you to pay it forward!
I believe the most powerful creations are energetically co-created. Think of how new life is born on Earth or how the most simple of pleasures in life like a cup of tea is co-created by a complex supply chain, many people, and your money! This next phase of my work is meant to be more bold, empowered, and expansive than ever before. Will you co-create in a new way with me by joining my Patreon?